On Failure

Waiting for exam results:

Dear readers, throw me a lifeline; I am in limbo! 

When I started to write The Fit Pixie blog, I intended to document my progress as I study to become a fitness instructor. However, at that point I didn't reckon on a few important factors, like mad revising for exams, or trying to learn choreography (much harder than I imagined!)- both of which have been filling my recent days to the exclusion of all blogging.

I took my written exams a few days ago. And this is why I am in limbo: it might be three weeks until I know whether I have passed. And the not-knowing is rendering me incapable of thinking about anything else. I suppose that if I was confident that I have passed I would not be so concerned, but I feel the assessments could have gone either way. I feel like I had enough knowledge to qualify- I certainly studied hard- but I did not always understand the wording of the questions, and what was really being asked. 

Now, I am quite a private person. Nobody likes to admit their potential failings in public, least of all a private person so I wasn't going to write about this, but in the interests of growing as an individual, and being true to the aim of The Fit Pixie, there it is! 

I feel a little liberated. 

Potential failure:

So, now that is off my chest I wonder why it is so hard to own up to situations like this? 

I look at instagram a fair bit. There are very many beautiful strong people with amazing bodies on display there. I heartily congratulate every single one of them, and I thank them for the inspiration. But at the same time, I worry slightly about just how perfect they are. Has the selfie generation made super-fit the only acceptable standard? 

I mean, there are plenty of 'before and after' body transformation photos, plenty of motivational true stories... but there are no 'during' snaps are there? There are no bed-head selfies in sweat pants, with the hashtag #nomotivation are there? No photographs of beautiful running routes with the caption 'I walked the last half mile', no admissions of 'I wasn't quite ready for that, but I will be next time I try'. 

Why don't we own our failures? Surely they are as much a part of any journey as the successes? 

Practice, not perfection:

'It's yoga practice, not yoga perfect', so the saying goes. Can't this be applied to all fitness activities, partly because everybody has different aims and reasons for working out: lose weight, feel stronger, de-stress, shared social experience...? The motivations are as complex as we are, and if our aims are so different, then one person's failure might surely be another person's 'no big deal'? 

But when faced with inspirational characters who appear perfect in every way, do we come to equate success with perfection? Is the rise in popularity of fitness bloggers and picture-posters just competitive narcissism? 

It felt like a big deal to me that I might not pass my assessments. But... is it? I can re take them, so maybe I just haven't passed them yet. I guess failing is only a big deal if you want it to be. 

Whilst I'm at it, I have a few more admissions: I can't do handstands, I don't have a six-pack, and I'm not great at spin classes. But, as with my exams, I'd like to qualify all of these with 'yet'.   

Here's a blogging pledge:

I'm not an expert. I'm not perfect. I am not yet as fit and strong as I intend to become. 

I pledge to continue to write my blog in the spirit of these statements, and to own my failures. 

And... I'll let you know if I passed (or failed) my assessments. 

(Edited on April 6th: I passed my written exams! Now for the practical results..,)

Ten Things Learnt Whilst Studying

Here goes, my first Ten Things post, inspired by A Cornish Mum. I'd love your feedback!

Ten Things I've Learnt Whilst Studying for my Fitness Qualifications:

I've learnt a lot, in terms of the knowledge that I am studying, and about the fitness journey that I am on, and even the development of this new blog, so here is a random list of ten of them for you: 

1. The brain can only use carbohydrate (out of the three macronutrients: protein, fat, carbohydrate). I don't know why, but I find this really fascinating.

2. I get chilblains if I run in the cold: old lady alert!!

3. There are seven stages to adopting a whole new healthy lifestyle. Somewhat immaturely, I find the fact that the first one is called 'pre-contemplation' amusing.

4. I find yoga really is the best way to calm a racing mind and allay some anxieties. 

5. There are technically three distinct body-types: ectomorph, endomorph, mesomorph. I have no idea which one I am, but I'd guess its an ecto-/meso- combination. I don't know if this is real science or not...

6. I can actually survive a 60 minute spin class- just. 

7. You can never have too many gym clothes. 

8. Fats are essential in our diet: not only is each and every cell membrane a double layer of fat, but it is fat which allows the electrical nerve impulses to be carried around the body. Bring on the ice cream!

9. Blogging is as much of a full-time job as you want it to be. 

10. People can be so positive and helpful: I was really dubious about telling staff and acquaintances at my gym that I am studying for my Exercise to Music Qualification. A few months ago I didn't feel I was anywhere near fit enough, and I assumed that the instructors would just see me as unwelcome competition. I was so wrong: they have been so helpful, encouraging and supportive. I am so grateful.

Healthy Banana Muffin Recipe

Healthier Banana, Coconut & Walnut Muffins

As I often do, today I got the urge for a bit of home baking, but I didn't want to indulge in a sugary fatty treat. Hence these banana muffins came into existence.  

Banana Coconut Walnut Muffins 

I've shared the recipe below for you to enjoy: I am not exactly a professional or anything, but I hope you have fun baking these healthier treats. I'd love your feedback!

Sugar-free Dairy-free Muffins: Perfect for Breakfast!

As so often seems to happen when I am cooking, I just looked around my cupboards and used whatever ingredients I had available. You can of course substitute anything you don't wish to use. The key thing in this recipe is the bananas for texture and for sweetness. 

Because they are not too sweet, these tasty bakes are perfect for snacking on at any time of day, but I think they'd be especially good for breakfast.

Recipe: 

Makes 12 large muffins.

I'd recommend using paper muffin cases if you have them. I didn't have any but it would have been a lot easier if I did!

Ingredients:                                          

4oz rye flour, 

4oz coconut flour,

2 eggs, 

8fl oz soya milk,

2 heaped teaspoons baking powder,

4 mashed bananas, 

vanilla essence, 

3 heaped dessert spoons desiccated coconut,

a few handfuls of walnuts (halves or chopped, it's up to you)

You could also add a couple of spoons of honey if you'd like sweeter muffins.

Tasty Sugar-free Muffins 

Method:

Preheat the oven to 200˚C.

Blend the flours and baking powder in a bowl, stir in the eggs one at a time, then add the soya milk gradually until a you have a smooth but thick paste-like consistency, and all the flour has been incorporated. 

Add the vanilla essence and mashed bananas and beat well (if you want to add honey I'd put it in now).

Stir your coconut and walnuts into the mixture.

Divide mixture evenly between 12 muffin cases, bake until golden (approximately 20 minutes). 

Enjoy! 

Online Yoga Video Review: 'Slo Mo Flo' on Udaya

A few weeks ago I signed up to the Udaya online yoga video website. I've been doing just a about a class a week to compliment my other activities, with mixed results: sometimes the practice has felt really satisfying and sometimes it just hasn't.

Online Yoga Classes: 

One of the beauties of online exercise classes of all types is that you get to pick and choose what you want to do, and who you want to guide you through it. This is obviously great, as the variety is endless (plus you get to pause it when your loving other half surprises you with an espresso half way through!). However, there are also drawbacks to changing your teachers all the time: it can be difficult to follow a new instructor that you're not familiar with, especially when you are in a pose that doesn't easily allow you to watch the screen. This is exacerbated when the class is fast. 

Which was one of the motivating factors in why I chose this class: 'Slo Mo Flo' with Adam Husler. The slow pace appealed to me. I was also drawn to the '2' difficulty rating, as the Udaya classes do seem to be on the more challenging side (although I have done other '2'-rated classes that have involved at least four head/hand stands, plus the splits thrown in- which dispiritingly I can do none of- hence I was still wary). 

Class Review:

True to it's title, this was a slow-moving class, but it would be a mistake to think that slow means easy- which suits me: I am always up for a work out! But when someone says "high plank is your happy place today" you know what's coming is going to be a little bit challenging.

My legs were shaking with exertion at one point, so I was reassured when Adam said something along the lines of: "our legs really enjoy the stretching in yoga, but they don't always enjoy the work". It's these empathetic remarks from an instructor when you're working hard that make you feel like you're not completely out of your league. 

The slow pace allowed me to better understand the transitions between poses, which to be honest is not something I have given much thought to in the past. 

I also enjoyed the instructing style, as it felt like there was plenty of information to work out whether you are holding a pose or doing a movement well enough to be getting the best out of it. 

Class Highlights:

It was the fine details which really made this class interesting to me: for example I learnt so much about how to fine tune the position of the hands, and exactly how to hold the foot to make the best of a leg extensions, which combined to make it a really rewarding learning experience rather than just a work-out. 

One part of the class I particularly enjoyed was when we twisted through a lunge. I've not come across this before but it's one aspect of my mobility i'd really like to improve. 

I also feel like I learnt a lot about my chair pose, and how to improve it. In earlier versions I have done I feel like maybe I didn't pull my derrière in enough (see below!). 

Does my bum look big in this...?

Satisfaction...?

I will certainly repeat this class, for the important reasons that I feel like it would improve my practice to work more on this routine, plus I enjoyed it!

I would also recommend it if you'd like to work on your strength and stamina- good for all exercise goals, not just yoga. 

You can find the teacher, Adam Husler here on Instagram